25 November 2011

I need your help...

If you are reading my blog, you know what sort of things I have gone through in the past years and to deal with it now in the past few months, it's slowly ruined me..
I never wanted to write this post, but I have to do it..I though I can sort my financial problems out alone, but I realised I just can not do it myself, as how depressed I feel, I had to close my shops down..I can not design anymore and can not work, as my hands are shaking so much, I can't paint, I can't singe my flowers or sew them...

I already put my house up for sale on eBay and one Hungarian Estate Agent site
(Update: I can not afford to relist the house at the moment on eBay, if you are interested, please contact me.)
 It will take time to sell it, but I need to do things now, to make me feel better...this can not wait any longer, I feel it.

I only have my paintings shop open at the moment on etsy and I decided to sell everything there on a much less price to raise money to make my dreams to became a reality..
I need $6,800.00 (Update on the 08.12.2011.: I only need $4,300.00 as I sold some of my works already) to make a first step to start a new life with my kids and to give me some strength to get out of this horrible mess I found myself in a few months ago.
To help me to recover and start designing and painting again...
I can not keep going any longer like how I feel in the last weeks. I need a change, that's why I need to raise that much money.

If you are interesting to buy any of my paintings or photograph prints, I can sell them for you on a price you are willing to pay, obviously in a reasonable amount. I've already adjusted the price on all the paintings for you, to receive a  50% discount, but I can give you further price reduction if you wish.

All of my paintings and photograph prints are available for this special offer, except: "The Mysterious Moon" what is for sale only on that price what is in my shop.

If you are interested to purchase any of my paintings or photograph prints in my etsy shop, please send me an email: and I can list them for you on the agreed price on etsy or on eBay.

I feel so embarrassed to write this post, but I am pretty desperate to put this money together before Christmas...I really need your help, even if you are not interested, but know someone who might.
Please can you forward my blog link to them or tweet it...thank you.

PS: Please read the comments under this post to see who I had to live with.
The ex still keep bullying me here and write nasty comments hiding behind the word "anonymous".
I just searched up the word "psychopathic" on Google, because I couldn't spell it correctly and to make sure that is the right description for the ex behaviour. And I was very surprised by the fact, everything what is describe Psychopath, he have it all...which scares me only to find out now..
I always thought is something wrong with him mentally, because of his weird behaviour, but never thought to look it up, maybe because I was try to keep my family together, no matter what he was doing to me and my kids and other people...

I copied and pasted his and my comments for you to see it:

"Anonymous said...
Your life story is interesting, but your paitings are crap
25 November 2011 13:12 "
"MGMart said...
To "Anonymous"
You sound exactly like my ex.
He was using the exact words about my work to knock me down to the ground, to feel I am worthless, after he realised hitting and raping me not break me down...
Is that you Carl????? Next time you are writing nasty comments on my blog, have that much in you to write your name down and show other people who you are really, stop hiding behind the word "Anonymous"
25 November 2011 13:46 "
 "Anonymous said...
Sorry my dear, I am not your ex. Not sure if you really had an ex!!!
You would be lucky if I was your ex, bcos I would have killed myself of ever being with people like you. You just can't bare the truth, can you? Have you really ever sold even one of your paintings?
26 November 2011 01:26 "
" MGMart said...
To "Anonymous"
I say it one more.
Carl leave me alone, stop bullying me over the internet, wasn't enough for you to hurt me while I was married to you??
Don't give me the "old lady" talk: "sorry my dear"...then write like a man..Carl I am not stupid, I know exactly it's you I can prove it, I lived with you for 15.5 years I know your sad games too well...
I know you was setting up a fake etsy account: ( and you was pretend it to be Sabina) to place a large order and you haven’t paid for it, just to mess me up even more financially, and I know you set up another two fake account on twitter to stalk me and check on me what I write.
First you have set up this account, but I blocked you, because your abusive tweets to me and to my twitter followers:!/anytimesoonerer
Then you set up this one with the same name as your fake etsy account:!/helskina but I worked it out that is you again so I blocked that account again..
then you set up this other fake twitter account!/threemice666 but I blocked that one too, because I hate creepy psychopathic person like you, I just searched it up on Google and here is the link describes you exactly how you behave, just read it myself and every part of this description, just like you. Which scares me who I was living with all this years and if I would have known, you are having this mental disorder, I would NOT fallen asleep in the same room where you was sleeping and would NOT let my kids with you alone for a it's not enough I just found out on the 20th of May you are having a paedophile interest, but you are having a mental disorder too..SCARY!!!

So leave us alone, that is the least you can do.
You should be locked up and not walk around freely on the streets and work in people’s houses.
26 November 2011 13:53 "
"Anonymous said...

My name is Daniel Nickleson, working for Strand Gallery in London. I'm constantly looking for new talented artist. Trust me, your paintings are no way near being arts.
You are certainlmakey having issues with your ex, and that's not my interest at all. This is my last reply to you as I don't have time to waist, but I need to make it clear that I'm not hiding myself, it is just easy to leave a comment under anonymous category.
All of the best.
26 November 2011 23:24"
'MGMart said...

To "Anonymous"
I've called up yesterday the Strand Gallery in London, and I was spoken with Kate, who is managing the gallery and she don't know anyone who works there, as only her and another lady work for the gallery.
So you made this one up again Carl.
I am asking you the last time, to stop playing your dirty games on me, I know 100% it's you, I have my ways to know it's you.
I only called the gallery up to let them know some weirdo writing nasty comments under their names.
I am telling you again, stop writing on my blog.
You should read carefully that Wikipedia link, and you will see "lying and manipulation", they are one of the characteristics in the mental disorder you have.
I don't think you will ever get it, as you are sick and I will ask the court in the next divorce hearing in January 2012, to do a test on you, as I will not let you near my kids anymore.
29 November 2011 10:38"
. . .

08 November 2011

No Love ... my 1st audio post

Finally today I decided to publish this blog post, which is (I think) the most important to me..
I wanted to do it a very long time ago, but every time I sat down to write it, I backed out of it.
Maybe because I was scared to see written down some of the things what was hurting me the most.
Even now I can not write about it still, that is why I had to record it... I hope you will understand what I want to say, I am sorry my English is not as good.
Since I am not tweeting and not writing on my Facebook account and here, I was alone and I had a time to think and I realised so many things what and why things was happening in my life.

To listen to my audio clips, please click on the highlighted words: "Introduction", "Part 1"..etc 

Sorry if I was making many mistakes when I was talking, but I was saying things how I felt in that moment.
I didn't write down what I wanted to say, so that's why I sound too slow sometimes, because I was thinking and said things out loud of myself, what I never shared with anyone before and I was incredibly nervous talking like that and show the real me..what is in my heart and in my soul...
Someone was asking me what is the noise in the background, the iPod microphone is so sensitive, it picks up the noise how the headset wire was moving on my t-shirt how I breath or talk.

I just hope you will listen to it all my 14 audio clips, I know it will takes a long time, but would be nice if you do...thank you

"Throw dirt on me and grow a wildflower
But it's fuck the world, get a child out her
Yeah, my life a bitch, but you know nothing 'bout her
Been to hell and back, I can show you vouchers..."

"...I think about more than I forget
But I don't go around fire expecting not to sweat..."

"I'm high as a bitch, up, up and away, man, I come down in a couple of days
Ok, you want me up in the cage then I'll come out in beast-mode
I got this world stuck in the safe, combination is the G-code"

Part 3
"...So you can keep knocking but won't knock me down
No love lost, no love found"

Part 4
In part 4, I said 2005, instead of 1995. I was incredibly nervous to talk and I made a mistake.

"It's a little too late to say that you're sorry now
You kicked me when I was down, fuck what you say, just
Don't hurt me, it don't hurt me, no more"

Part 5
"Bitch, you get no love
You showed me nothing but hate, you ran me into the ground
But what comes around goes around
And you don't hurt me"

Part 6
"You don't hurt me, no more
Bitch, you get no love, no love, no love, no love
Bitch, you get no love, no love, no love
And I don't need you no more
Get 'em"

Part 7
"I'm alive again, more alive than I have been in my whole entire life"

Part 8
"I can see these people's ears perk up as I begin"

Part 9
"To spaz with the pen, I'm a little bit sicker than most, shit's fixin' to get thick again"

Part 10
"I ain't never giving in again, caution to the wind, complete freedom..."
"It's an adrenaline rush to feel the bass thump in the place all the way to the parking lot..."

Part 12
"And you can never break my stride, you never slow the momentum at any moment I'm about to blow
You'll never take my pride, killing the flow, slow venom and the opponent
Is getting no mercy, mark my words ain't letting up, relentless, I smell blood
I don't give a fuck, keep giving them hell, where was you when I fell and needed help up?"

Part 13
You get no love
It's a little too late to say that you're sorry now
You kicked me when I was down, fuck what you say, just
Don't hurt me, it don't hurt me, no more
Bitch, you get no love
You showed me nothing but hate, you ran me into the ground
And you don't hurt me
You don't hurt me, no more
Bitch, you get no love, no love, no love, no love
Bitch, you get no love, no love, no love
And I don't need you no more
Bitch, you get no love