Where should I start? First maybe I should say, I am away with my kids from home for 4 days now, I wanted to stay away longer at my auntie's place, but I can't do it.. I realized I can not run away from my problems and I need to earn money again to pay my bills, so I made my decision early this morning while my little girl was vomiting at 3.30am (I think she was eating so many things yesterday and she got a tummy bug, but she is feeling better now), I will have to take them back home and try to sort things out in my life...
I did put my shops on vacation mode last week, and I still feel the same way, I will close them down once I sold nearly everything out of them. I will need to reopen my shops today and even I lost my passion to design and make my flowers and jewelry, I still need to keep doing it, as long I will found my way out of this emotional mess I am at the moment... and I need to earn money for to pay my bills and implants in the end of August.
I still feel so lost, I can't create anymore as I used to and this makes me feel upset, because creating was my life, but I hope one day I will be back to myself again, the same girl who I was before I got married.
At this moment my kids are the most important in my life, I try to do my best to give them everything what I can. I just wish I am over with this emotional stress soon, as I am still not over with the shock which was caused by the realisation of who I was living for this long.
I try not to feel sorry for myself and move on, but it is just so hard, as my heart is not with me anymore...
I would like to thank everybody who was helping me to raise money for my implants surgery last month. I am truly touched by the messages and comments I have received by closing down my shops.
Here is some of the messages I have received, which makes me feel I am not a waste of a time in this world, and I already made some people happy with my creations and touched their soul with my art...thank you!! :
I am sad to hear that you are closing your shop. You are a wonderful artist and I hope that someday you will be able to share your talents again. I wish you the very best - and hope that all goes well for you! Take good care of yourself! ~ Catherine"
"I'm going to miss your shop! I adore your items! If you ever start selling somewhere else please let me know. :) I get endless compliments on the earrings I bought from you last year. Thank you for the discount. I know as a shop owner how much that hurts after you work so hard to make things. Mahalo, Danielle"
"Sad to see you go. Best wishes :) Your jewellery is beautiful and I will miss looking through it all but I understand.~Katy"
"Marianna, Sorry to hear that you are closing your shop. Your flowers are so beautiful and original. Hope all is well and good luck! ~Ashley "
"Sorry to read that you are closing.... I love your shop and wish you the best ~ Mariah"
"I've wanted one of these for a long time, so I guess I'd better buy it before you're closed. I wish you the best for the future. Charlotte"
"Thanks again so sorry you are shutting down. I will miss your work! Lynn"
"Hi Marianna... Thanks for your beautiful work... Laura"
"Your work looks beautiful. It's clear you put time and passion into each piece. Cannot wait to receive these works of art. ~ Courtney"
"Sorry to hear your closing your shop. These little bird rings are just adorable and I think everyone should have one. I wish you much success in your life and to maybe see you back on etsy in the future! I'll be keeping an eye out :) ~ Sarah"
"I am so sorry to see that you are closing your shop. I love the earrings that I purchased from you.
"I'm very sorry to hear about you closing your shop.You are a wonderful artist.
I wish you the very best in your journey! ~ Fotini"